i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
