Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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