Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Randomize
