Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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