Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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