she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Randomize
