After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
