ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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