dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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