Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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