and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
