hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
At least life still wants to fuck me.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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