True but thats because hes a fetus.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
