I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
