Who wears a wallet chain?!
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
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