I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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