The maid of honor just puked.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize