OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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