Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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