The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
