They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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