Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Randomize
