He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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