Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
