can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Randomize
