omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
πππ what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Randomize