I must be too annoying 4 u.
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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