I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Randomize
