You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
