Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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