watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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