East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Randomize
