What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Randomize
