when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
