We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
