best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
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