Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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