I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
