does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Randomize
