Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
