Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize
