There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
