Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
