Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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