hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
