my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
