About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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