I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
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