We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
