yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Randomize
