I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I stole a fireplace last night.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Randomize
