I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
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i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
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Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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