I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
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