it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
