when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Randomize
