I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize