Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
