Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
i would one night stand the shit outta him
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
