that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
