my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
