your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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