Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Randomize
