Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Found your dick twin last night
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Randomize