Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
